Formula moms chill, it's cool

I chose breastfeeding.  I chose breastfeeding.  I felt it was the best for my family.  It wasn't easy and it was something I had to fight for.  Thankfully I had a lot of support in my family.

When I talk about my breastfeeding and why I chose to breastfeeding I'm not judging you.  Sometimes I hate breastfeeding.  Sometimes I hate that it dictates my schedule and how Ella can pick some pretty inconvenient times to decide that she's hungry.  I've been late to appointments or had to nurse in the van.  Ella gets distracted easily so I have to find the most private place I can find or she's watching what's going on instead of eating.

However, for me nursing is the best answer.  I don't get more dishes on top of the mountain of dishes I already have to wash.  I don't have to worry about trying to make sure a bottle is just the right temp in the middle of the night because thanks to the age gap with my children I don't get naps during the day.

However it was my choice.  My decision for my children.  It's worked out for me thankfully.  I will still say that breast is best though.  Breast is best if you can do it.  I did formula with my son though.  It wouldn't make any sense for me to judge others for a choice that I've already made.  It just wasn't something I wanted to do again.  I was lacking sleep so badly with my son that I ended up getting sick.  I couldn't imagine doing it with two.  On top of that formula is expensive.  So, I made the best choice I could for my family.

Besides isn't there enough mommy judging going on already?

Ella

I used to joke that because my pregnancy and subsequent delivery of my son was so difficult that if he hadn't been my first he would have been my last.

Well, with the delivery of my last baby I have a new tune.  If she had been my first, she would have been my last.

Don't get me wrong.  I love her a lot and she's a great joy in my life.

However she is so much needier than her older siblings were.  I joke that she's in such a hurry to walk because it'll make it easier to chase me into other rooms.  I can't parent her like I did my older two.  I am not a clingy, huggy person, and really like my personal space.  Which according to Ella, my personal space is her personal space.  It's very wearing and when I have two other children to attend to it's even more wearing.

However, I did not make her this way.  Believe it or not babies really do have their own personalities.  They're going to change over the years, but no two baby is the same.  Which is why there are so many parenting techniques out there.  Different babies have different needs.

So, the next person that "corrects" me when I say Ella needs me more is gonna get the brunt of my fury because it's getting old.

*ramblings brought to you by a mother that has spent most her morning listening to a baby scream because she was trying to get chores done and can't do them holding the baby*

Happy Veterans Day

Happy Veterans Day to the Veterans I love.

My dad circa 1989

I don't have one of Greg in uniform, but he got into the military before he even graduated and this was his graduation picture.

Wordless Wedenesday - The wordy edition

Very late post - BebeMellons review

I promised that I'd make this post...a week ago at the least.  I'm sorry.

I recently was able purchased some fitted diapers from Mary-Ellen Clark of BebeMellons.  So, this review is something I'm doing as a favor because it makes me sad that not that many people know about her diapers.  They're really nice and really well made.  She definitely puts a lot of effort into making a good product.

My girls have worn them with and with out covers.  They worked very well both ways.  I would save the coverless wearing for during the day of course, but it's definitely doable if you're worried about things like heat rashes.

I will have to take more pictures tonight, but they do fit both children very well.  Both diapers were highly absorbent even though I started using them before I did the 5 hot washes that she recommends.

I do have one issue with them, but it's not with the diaper itself.  It's with the covers I have.  For overnight you might want to stick with fleece longies or wool longies.  Right now all I have are flip covers and Grovia shells.  They do not do a very good job of covering the whole diaper.  It works well enough to where I can fudge it, but I'd love more coverage.  This is because of all the layers of fabric she uses.  Though the layers of fabric are a plus to me.  I just hadn't gotten around to getting any longies yet.

I think they're definitely worth the money you pay as you can use the doubler on an infant with an infant sized cover.  They're just a good investment as far as I'm concerned.

I will say again that this is my opinion.  I am not being paid to say this.  I wish I could give away one of her diapers because they're just that awesome.  I think everyone should have at least one of her fitted diapers, but it's not in the budget for me to be generous like that right now.  So, please go buy one of her diapers.  Trust me when I say you won't regret it.

Not blogging lately

I've been innactive with my blog lately.  I've been distracted by bigger issues.

Greg and I are in deeper money issues than I've wanted to lead on.  We're having to come up with a lot of money fairly soon or we risk losing the house.  It's not something I wanted to talk about because talking about it meant dealing with it.  It's such a big thing.  I'm looking for a job in hopes to keep this from happening.  I'm also putting off my trip.  I need the house more than I need to go to PA.

So, if I don't post on my blog that's why.  I'm just really worried about other things.

Wordless Wednesday - Yay mail!

Ella's Amber necklace arrived

The fitted diapers from BebeMellons arrived.

Etsy - The Panda Edition

I stole this idea from The Gnome's Mom.


I am looking for ideas on how to redecorate my kitchen and make it more me.  As you may or may not know I have a thing for Pandas.  So, I'm looking to decorate my space in Pandas.

Amanda the Panda Mug made by Art Haus Ceramics.  I'm listing this first because I'm not human until I've had my first cup of coffee.  It's just that important and would be even more pleasant in a cup like this.

I love this picture made by Keep Calm Arsenal.  The simple black and whiteness of pandas is one of the reasons I love them so much.

I could use a few of these sets Panda Bear Magnets made by Crafty Goodies.  They also have a tack board version if you prefer that.

Panda Thumbtacks made by yum yum buttons because I am so forgetful that I need a tack board as well.  It might as well be cute.

Panda Enviro Wraps made by The Straight Stitch for the tree hugger in me.  Just because I want to save the Earth doesn't mean I can't have something cute while I do it.

Salt & pepper shaker set from Come on Haze.  I want a set that's cute enough to where I don't feel the need to hide them away when I'm not using them.

I so very need this spoon rest from fruit fly pie because I am addicted to spoon rests.  I have used dessert plates as a spoon rest when I didn't actually have a real one on hand.  I'm that into them.

This Panda Hoodie by aNGrYGiRL Gear is not a kitchen item, but it's still awesome.  I want it so much.


The only thing I didn't find that I was actually looking for was an apron because I'm a messy baker.  I always get flour on my clothes, but they had a lot of cute Panda prints.  I could always make an apron of my own I guess.

It's still racism

It's still racism if the race you're talking about can't hear you.  It's still racism if you're only joking with your friends.  If you wouldn't say it in front of a person of the race you're referring to then it's not okay to say.  Saying that everyone does it doesn't make it less wrong.  This is when you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

I'll take this even further with the cheesy sayings because I rather like this one.  A river starts out as a small stream.  A movement starts out small like a stream and grows as person by person they realize that the way we did it was wrong.  You may be one person, but you're adding to the stream.  Eventually a stream becomes a river, a river can become a bay, and a bay joins the ocean.

Racism isn't okay and you shouldn't stand for it.  I don't care how common place it might be.  It exists and it shouldn't, we should know better by now.

Blast from the Past Friday

A blast from the past

The Return of Sanity

Right now I'm blogging on the floor in my kitchen.  You're probably wondering why.  Well, my daughter is sleeping where my computer is and I'm a loud typer.  I'd rather not wake her up just yet.
Things are somewhat improving since I started my experiment.  Though I now have other factors working against me now.  I have a Parent/Teacher conference coming up, I've been trying to get Dedrick to be more responsible for his stuff, and suddenly Ella won't sleep unless she's in my arms/bed.  This is on top of all the other things I need to deal with right now.
However, I really enjoy this time to myself.  At least now I get a chance to eat breakfast now.

Wordless Wednedsay - Presents

I would have a picture of Dedrick with his present, but he came home with bad news and I got distracted.

Family issues

When I was a little girl I had a favorite Uncle.  He was the best Uncle anyone could have and the best father from what I could tell.  I still love that Uncle, but he's not the same person he used to be.  The years have changed him and in many ways it has not changed him for the better.

He is more distant.  It's almost impossible to get in touch with him.  As a matter of fact I have no idea how I would contact him if I ever really needed to tell him anything.  This makes me very sad because I remember how he was and I miss the person he was.

I actually saw him today.  I'm grateful because that means he's still working.  He's working on the road I live on.  I thought I saw him last week, but I wasn't fully sure.  I saw him while waiting for my son's bus this morning.  I knew it was him because he had to get out to put a cone by the road.  I knew him by the way he walked and his signature beard.  There is no mistaking him.

However, I couldn't help wondering if he recognized me and especially if he recognized my son.  I waved and he waved back, but it was a small polite wave.  It's been years since I've actually seen him in person.  Though the last news I had heard of him was that he had gotten in a motorcycle accident.  Clearly, he's doing much better now....well, at least physically better.  I just hope that when he gets past the things that are adding drama to his life that he'll feel it's okay to let his family back into his life.  We miss him.

Do you have any relatives that have estranged themselves?  How do you handle it?  Did they eventually come back?

I'm a planner, but I'm at a loss

Right now my obsession is making a list of things I'm going to need for my trip.  I want to be able to get some of these things on clearance if I can.  I want to be able to talk to people to get what I need for free if I can.  I know my aunt would be willing to get toothpaste samples for me from her job.  She's awesome like that.  The less I spend on this trip the better I will feel about it.  The more I can do for less, the more I'll feel that I've done what I can to get my break while sparing my family a lot of expense.

These are the things I would like for my trip.

4 to 5 pairs of jeans. - I haven't bought a pair of jeans for myself in about 2 years.

7 tops (summer stuff) - I have a few tops I can wear just fine, but it's also been a while since I bought a top for myself.

2 new pairs of shoes - I need some nice shoes that are comfy for walking and some shoes I can wear in case we decide to go out.

1 skirt - Something that will go with one of the tops and be dressy, but not so dressy that I would never wear it again.

1 dress - This I prefer to spend the least amount of money on because I almost never wear dresses and almost never have a reason to wear a dress.  I just really want to go to a nice restaurant once while I'm in PA.  You know, one you have to dress up to get into.

Shampoo and conditioner samples - Though I'll probably need a few conditioner samples because I really go through the conditioner.

A very small container of deodorant - I think they limit the size of things you can pack with you.

Honestly, I've not gone anywhere for more than a couple nights for the past 7 years.  I have no idea what I should pack.  This is just the basic idea of what I think I should pack.  I didn't mention underwear because I have underwear that was bought for me recently. ;)  I also have mostly decent socks.  Please help me finish my to get list?  I could really use the help.

Diaper laundry

This is something people write about a lot.  If you do cloth diapers you fully understand how it can easily take over your life if you let it.

I find that I now schedule things around washing diapers or will was my diapers early if I can help it.  Hopefully this won't last much longer for a few reasons.

Here are some helpful hints to consider.

1. Find a routine, keep it simple, and stick to it.

2. Get a schedule that is easy for you.

3. Buy a few more diapers than you really need.  It helps if for any reason you find yourself having to delay your schedule.  This is also a good idea because an illness can dramatically also speed up your need to wash.

4. Hang dry as much as you can.  This is especially true if you have aplex diapers.  It can greatly extend the life of your diapers.

5. Sun them, but don't over sun them.  Don't leave them hanging for hours at a time.  This will cause a shorter life span for your diapers.

Can you think of any hints that have helped you with your routine?

It's not a joke anymore

At what point does a joke stop being a joke?  At what point does it become just being hateful or mean?

I've always tried to approach humor in this way.  A joke isn't something you tell to hurt someone you care about.  You should never use humor to tear someone down in order to make someone else laugh.

I should say now that I could probably use a thicker skin, but I am very curious.  When does a joke stop being a joke?  When does it stop being just fun teasing and turn hurtful?  How is it okay for people to say really mean things and then go, "I was only joking?".  Does that suddenly make what they said less offensive?

I'm probably going to end up on the hypocritical end of this, but it's one of those things I'm trying to work on.  I'm trying to stick to my guns and my morals when it comes to how I treat the people around me.  I'm trying to not just go with this mentality that we need to beat down people that don't meet our "standards" or act the way we think they should.

How about jokes on sensitive issues?  When does it stop being a joke to tell someone to get a job, lose that weight, or any other subject the person you're talking to is already sensitive about?

Okay, now I'm rambling so I'll just end this with my questions?


Where do you draw the line between a joke and outright meanness?  How do you deal with jokes based on race/sex/sexual orientation?  How do you deal with a person that is clearly just being hateful and hiding behind humor in an attempt to mask it?

When a celebrity dies

Yesterday Steve Jobs died.  I am sad.  Actually, I'm very sad.  While, I myself have never actually owned an Apple product, I cannot deny the impact he's had on my life.  He pushed technology and the people that make our products to new heights.  I don't doubt that without him we might not have the Google Phone or other products that were inspired by his products.  The big thing is a lot of us don't remember a world without Steve.  He has always been in our lives on one level or another.

Which, brings me to my point.  When someone like Steve Jobs dies it reminds us of our own mortality.  This person that seemed larger than life can die.  It scares people.  It reminds them that no matter how powerful or how rich they are that eventually they too are going to die.  That's a very scary thought.  The beyond is scary no matter how sure you are of heaven or the lack there of dying is scary.  So, when someone so famous dies it's something that you can't avoid.  It's all over the news.  You can't ignore their death like you could when it involves someone else you don't know.

So, I guess in a way when someone so famous dies we're not just mourning that person.  We're mourning the reminder of our own mortality.  That's pretty much what I'm saying.

Wordless Wednesday - Getting much needed sleep

Sanity and my attempt to restore it

With Greg's schedule and my need for quiet time I am attempting something I would never do if it weren't for the fact I'm so desperate for alone time.

I started setting my alarm clock a half an hour earlier.

I desperately need the quiet time to myself.  It's a little too early to say how well it's working though.  Especially since today it took my alarm 18 minutes to wake me up.  Though the fact my daughter is now crying in her crib is probably a sign that I need to give this more time.  I'm hoping after a few weeks of this that I'll be used to waking up a little earlier.  I'm hoping the effect will be a calmer happier mommy.  My children deserve a calmer happier mommy.

What do you do to maintain your sanity?  Do you stay up a little later some nights?  Do you get up a little extra early in the morning?  Do you have a male to help you?  Is it the ride to work that helps?