I've been putting off my post about Ella. She's very young and how I felt about her was complicated. I resented her for a bit. I resented the fact she made my plans more complicated. I resented the fact she caused us to need a bigger vehicle.
She's here now though and these things aren't her fault. I find the more time I spend with her the more I appreciate her uniqueness. The more I realize she completes our family. She's a bundle of energy and giggles. I love how observant she is. She loves to try and attack my keyboard/cellphone/whatever electronic is within her reach. She especially loves my cellphone because it's a touch screen phone. She's realized that if she touches the screen that it does stuff.
Watching her learn and grow has become the upturn to my day. I regretted Ella, but I'm accepting of her now. Being a parent isn't easy. Being a mother isn't easy and as much as people don't want to admit it sometimes you don't love your children right away. Sometimes it takes time to love them. You're only human and this is okay.
I had the same feeling about my youngest. I love him and always loved him, but I still had a bitterness about him. We had decided to be done at 1 just before we found out that we were pregnant with him - and I wasn't thrilled - I did become excited - but it wasn't anything like I was with my first. Then it took some getting used to, but now I realize that it was the way it was meant to be. I love him to pieces - and, yes... he's our little monstor too - grabbing at EVERYTHING!! :D
ReplyDeleteElla definitely completes my family and I totally understand the grabbing. Ella tries to grab everything she can reach.
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