I don't like snaps at 1 AM

I love my snap diapers.  I love washing my snap diapers.  I have a love/hate relationship with my hook and loop diapers.  They're easy for my midgets to take off by themselves and they're a pain in the ass to wash.

However at 1 AM I am all about the hook & loop.  Actually I save them in case I have to do a late night changing.

Snaps are great and snaps are more durable.  However, trying to snap a diaper on a wiggly, crying child at 1 AM while half asleep is not my idea of a good time.  I want to slap on a diaper and be back to soothing this child to sleep.

So, while part of me would like to 100% convert to snaps.  For the sake of my SO and for the sake of my sanity, I'm always going to have at least a few hook and look diapers.  1 AM changes happen and I'd like to be prepared for them.

Do you prefer snaps, do you prefer Hook and Look diapers, or do you keep a blend of the two?

My new hobby

I have gotten to the point with Cloth diapering that it's almost a hobby for me.  I'm constantly on the look out for a diaper that the girls might like more.  I love looking at patterns.  I even like washing them.  Which is funny because I hate doing laundry.

As a matter of fact I will talk about it with people who CD and I talk about it with people who don't.  I get excited about Fluff coming in the mail.  I don't care what you use for diapers.  I want to talk about it.  I want to talk about the different styles.  I want to talk about my plans for Ella next summer so she doesn't get a heat rash again.  It's definitely become my new hobby.

I get excited just thinking about cloth diapers.  I really do.  I'm thinking of switching to mama cloth just so I can continue to be excited about that after Ella is finally potty trained.  Either way.  Do you CD?  Is it your new hobby?  Have I lost my mind?

The decision to stop having children...

Deciding to stop having children is as complicated and difficult a decision as having children in the first place.  As much as I'm sure I no longer want children part of me is mourning the loss of my ability to have children.  Even though I know for the sanity of myself and my children that I really shouldn't have more children I'm sad that I'll never hold another baby that came from me.  As much as I hate being pregnant there is something magical about babies.  They're little possibilities and I love watching them learn things.

Either way as of tomorrow Ella will be the last baby I ever have.  No, I don't plan to adopt.  Not that I have anything against adopting.  I'm just done.  I'm done with babies and I have the amount of children I want.  Adopted children should go to people that really do want more children.

Right now I almost want to back out, but I know that this is the right decision for me.  Just like I knew that staying pregnant was the right decision for me.  I have to say that in a way I'm glad I backed out the first time.  I couldn't imagine my life without Ella, but I really can't afford more children.  So, I don't know what else to say about this other than I know I'll cry, but I also know I'm doing this for all the right reasons.

Your sanity...you need it

Dear mothers,
It's okay to take a break from your children.  It's okay to want to be away from your children.  Don't let people make you feel guilty because sometimes you wish they would go away.  If they spent all of their time around someone all the time they'd want that person to go away as well.

I periodically send Greg on "urgent" errands with the children just to get them out of the house.  Do I feel bad about it?  I used to and then I got over it.  I realized I'm a better parent when I get time to myself.  I need time where it's quiet to get my thoughts together.  Time where I'm not running around trying to do 3 things at the same time.  Actually everyone needs time like that.

So, tell the people who try to tell you that you should want to spend every waking moment tending to your child to get a life!  Eventually they're going to grow up and if you spent all your time being a mother you'd have nothing left when they move on with their lives.  That's a situation I don't want to end up in.
                                                                      Much love,
                                                                      A mostly sane mother