This year will be different...even though now I have an infant to contend with. This year I will do something special for her birthday. Something extra special to make up for two years of crap. We'll have two kinds of cupcakes and homemade fish sticks. I'm not completely crazy at least. I'm having other people make the sides for me. That's what relatives are for though...right? I'll just have to remember to ask what's in everything before I eat it or just stick to what my family members make. Here's to hoping my Aunt will bring her awesomely special potato salad or send it with my grandmother.
I mean after all...look at this face and tell me she doesn't deserve an awesome birthday.
In other news we have Dedrick issues. Issues of Dedrick not wanting to help out. Issues of Dedrick watching as we clean up even though it was made clear that he was to help out. Please tell me this is a boy thing or a phase thing. For the most part if Lily sees you cleaning she'll help out unless she's tired. Either way this has lead to a crack down on Dedrick. No oatmeal for breakfast. I won't make special efforts for someone who can't even do his basic chores. There's a chance he won't be attending Lily's birthday party. Yes, even though it's going to be going on in the house if he doesn't change his attitude he's going to spend the whole time in his room. No cake and no fish sticks. I'm obviously going to feed him, but he's not going to get anything special.
Thanks to Angela I don't have to cut the rest of the family off from special treats though. I'll just serve him plain chicken, plain rice, and plain veggies while the rest of the family gets the awesome food. Going over board? You live with him for a while and see how he feels he should be entitled to this stuff. Not saying this isn't my fault. I'm just trying to break him of this before he gets older and it gets even harder to do so. Blargh. Either way it's going to be a rough year.
I have a younger sister. There is less than 2 years age difference between us. We have always gotten along really well. We shared a room, shared clothes, and still rarely fought.
ReplyDeleteSigh, writing this out again. Yes, Blogger, I AM logged in, just like I was before. Anywho, rewriting....
ReplyDeleteLike Katie, my sister and I are about 2 years apart, and we shared a bedroom starting when I was 10. From what I can remember, we never borrowed each other's clothing--let alone taking anything--or went through each other's things. When we were small and still in separate rooms, we fought all the time: that's just a small child pecking order thing. (IIRC, you deal with that already with D and Lily.) It eventually sorted itself out and by the time we were teens, we had minor tiffs but nothing too serious happened with us. We got along for the most part. We were in seriously cramped quarters; our bedroom was 10'*10' with two twin beds in it and large dressers. We were on top of each other All. The. Time. We eventually got bunks and that eased some of the space issue.
I think it would help to think of this as a child thing rather then a GIRL thing. I would assume that Lily takes D's things; would you handle it any differently if Ella takes Lily's, or vice versa? Based on how Lily likes to dress, you may have to watch her for stealing from D's closet. ;)
As for D's current issue, I think he's quickly exiting the Age of Sweetness and helpfulness. He's just old enough to think about things in terms of, "What's in it for me?", but not old enough to realize that helping the family unit in turn helps him. I know you've mentioned that he's been taking notes on what other children report they have to do, and he doesn't like that he does more and has more responsibility. Children have a skewed view about fairness and what it means...and also how it's being applied to them. Sadly, nothing you do to try and cure any inequities real or perceived is going to change their mind that they're being treated unfairly. I read a fabulous piece about that a few years back and the author had always believed that she got dumped on as a child. It wasn't until she had children of her own and she tried to be the fantastic parent that she felt her own mother wasn't that she realized nothing she did cured the feelings of getting shorted. She was *horrified* to discover that her own middle child expressed the same negative feelings and perceptions that she herself had as a middle child. That's when it dawned on her that maybe her mother wasn't what she had seemed from her point of view as a child. Their point of view is warped and shaped by their own self-interest and being unable to recognize it as such.
I have no actual suggestions to go about helping D become more helpful and less entitled. It's going to depend on what motivates him, and you're a better judge of that then I am from out here. I do have some vague ideas, but I'm not gunho to offer them up without knowing more.
That's good to know. I only had a brother and well...we get along now...for the most part.
ReplyDeleteI miss the age of sweetness. He still wants to help cook, but other than that he thinks it's "unfair" for him to do chores on his down time.